Useless Things I Didn’t Know Were Things!

Quarantine 2020

Oh. My. Gosh!  I am so over quarantine! The state of New Mexico, specifically San Juan County has been on stay-at-home orders since Mid March.  And here we are…still staying at home. Anyhow, here are a few things I have learned over that last couple of months.

1. Some people do NOT use a top sheet on their bed. If this is you….we cannot be friends.
2. My Dog, Dozer thinks he is human. He is in fact…NOT human.
3. Zoe can not say the word “swished.” She can only say Swiss-ed.
4. Most of the people I live with, spend more time on the toilet than needs be. Thank You electronics.
5. If I start a sentence with a mellow tone, and use child’s name…there is 102% chance they will ignore me.  If I shout “dammitalltohellyoukids” chances are I will at least get a side eye or a side glare.
6. One side of my hair grows faster than the other side.
7. Mulan has the highest kill-count of any Disney character.
8. The little dot above the lowercase “i” and “j” has a name.  It is called a “tittle.” I think that is funny. Don’t forget to tittle you i’s and cross your t’s.
9. You can’t hunt camels in Arizona.
10. No matter what you give Chris to grill, or what temperature you turn the grill to…you will always get the same compact, tough, blackened meteorite. You can put ketchup or A-1 on it, and it won’t change the molecular formula of the burnt morsel you’re about to eat.
11. Tiger King has boosted my spirits and moral. No matter what I go through, it will never be as messed up as Joe Exotic. I have also given one child the nick-name of “Cho Exotic.”
12. I collect weird things.  During this time at home, I have noticed I need to get rid of such things. (Blankets, colored pencils, tumblers, planners, and Pyrex)
13. Teenagers should be shot, and their genealogy done for them. This includes Tweens.
14. TikTok is the DEVIL.
15. I get annoyed by indecisiveness.
16. I miss the softball fields and my softball family. Who knew?
17. Teachers need a 458% pay raise….at least.
18. I hate to gain weight, but I am also the person that orders a custom cake just to have at the house. Complete with buttercream frosting and ice cream.
19. I got permission from my therapist to start conquering life by my own rules. Not anybody else’s. First thing I did was have a Mother’s Day 2.0…just because I can! It was awesome!
20. I’m going to miss seeing Cy Scarborough at the Bar D Chuckwagon.  Happy Trails, Cy.