What Is Your Percent of Horses Butt?

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Meet Chris, Angel, & Bree. Biggest Horses Butts Ever!

Don’t deny it!  Everyone can be a horses butt.  It comes so natural to some, and others have to work a little harder.  If anyone is truly wondering what percent of horses butt you are made of, pack nine people in a motor home for ten days, and travel over 4000 miles.  Trust me, even Mother Theresa would have been using a cuss word or two.

 

Meet Chris, Angel, & Bree.  Biggest Horses Butts Ever!
Meet Chris, Angel, & Bree. Biggest Horses Butts Ever!

 

Just kidding!  This is really Ben, Armstrong, and Steve.  And this is where our story begins.  Meagan took a summer job on Mackinac Island, MI.  This is where they filmed the movie Somewhere In Time with Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymore.  Meagans responsibilities included caring, bathing, feeding, and harnessing the horses everyday.  Not to mention putting up with the tourist on daily horse drawn carriage tours of the island.  Let’s not put the wagon before the horse, we need to backup just a bit.

I thought it would be fun to have a couple nieces, and a nephew join us on this trip from New Mexico to Michigan.  So, included in this trip was Chris, Angel, Mason, Elle, Chloe, Zoë, Breanna, Wyatt, Liberty a.k.a. BIL.  We have a 43′ Renegade motor home, that really makes it easy to go across country.  The morning of July 10, 2014 started like this:

 

 

That’s me. Being a horses butt.  We loaded up and went from New Mexico to Colorado, Nebraska, Iowa, Wisconsin, Michigan.  While in Wisconsin we opted to take the S.S. Badger  car ferry across Lake Michigan.  It gave Chris a break from being a horses butt, and hopefully a few Z’s too.   It was a four hour ferry ride, and we pulled the motor home onto the ferry and played BINGO and listened to lame jokes for four hours.  “Big ship more fun!”  I was so tired of hearing that.  Breanna was freaked out because of the fresh water sharks in Lake Michigan.  (Evil Laugh)  On the plus side….the kids got their faces painted.

 

20140713_130451
My cute nephew, Wyatt
My cute niece, BIL
My cute niece, BIL

 

That’s me. Being a horses butt.  Yep. I made her let me take her picture. Right, Lib?  She’s so dang cute though!  Finally, we made it to Michigan.  It was raining cats and dogs when we arrived.  But we were happy to be there!

 

Meagan and Lib
Meagan and Lib

 

We only were able to spend one day on the island, due to the rainy conditions.  That’s Mother Nature being a horses butt, and I can tell you right now, the island s t i n k s like horses poop.  Bad. When you go to a rodeo, and your lungs burn when you first walk into the arena….times that by 1,874,989.  You get used to it after awhile, but the smell lingers in your clothes.  That’s the horses having horses butts.

 

Ferry Ride to the Island
Ferry Ride to the Island

 

Mackinac Bridge. Longest Suspension Bridge in the Western Hemisphere.
Mackinac Bridge. Longest Suspension Bridge in the Western Hemisphere.

 

After the day on the island, we got to see the biggest wiener ever, and no it wasn’t my ex.  Haha!  That’s me being a horses butt.  It looked something like this:

Holy Hot Dawg, Batman
Holy Hot Dawg, Batman

Let me put it in perspective for the guys..

I'd Say It's 5 Inches
I’d Say It’s 5 Inches

 

Well, Willy says it best.  It was time to get “on the road again.”  Time travel back to the state I call home, where there is Z E R O humidity.  Which, I can’t stand.  On the way home we went from Michigan to Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, Kansas, Colorado, New Mexico.  That is a lot of asphalt for a person to learn to drive a big rig, and that’s just what we did. 🙂

 

Chloe Drives One Handed
Chloe Drives One Handed

 

Lets do some math.  10 states, 10 days, 9 horses butts, 4000 miles, 270 meals, 12 rolls of toilet paper to wipe our butts, 14 lectures, and 1 drunk driver. (We barely missed that one, Bree) = good. family. fun. dammit! 🙂  What was your vacation from hell?  Would you do it again?  What are your favorite vacation destinations?  I’d love to go down to the deep south next summer…..who’s going with me?  Oh, and to answer the question…mine is 88%. 🙂

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